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PARENTING - It's a tough job!
Growing
up with a workaholic father that missed a lot of those important childhood
moments, I vowed to be a different father and husband. Yet, no matter how
much I do is never enough and the kids seem more misbehaved, disrespectful,
and yet spoiled. I think I turned out okay but is it time I find a second
job to straighten out my kids?
As the
title of this page states ; "PARENTING - It's a tough job!" and it sure
sounds like your finding that out first hand. So many times our expectations
on how we want life to be and how it actually turns out are two very
different things. We dream of how we will do a better job than our parents
or how we'll weave their strengths into our own parenting repertoire. But
marriage, society, cultural norms, resources (or lack thereof)
and other variables in the mathematics of life have a say in how things turn
out, too. It's the old "nature vs. nurture" debate and there's a lot
of validity to it.
In the end,
parenting is tough but it isn't rocket science. Really, the tough part is in
the doing, not the planning to do. If you're married or have a partner, sit
down together and think about what you're doing as co-parents. Are you
undermining each other's authority? Are you setting limits and maintaining
boundaries? Are you saying one thing and doing another? These questions are
all worth considering. A good friend once said to me "Be prepared to live a
life of rigorous honesty". In this case, it means taking a long, hard look
at why the kids are acting out.
Of course,
if things get too out of hand and you've reached your limit, grab the phone,
call a family therapist and put the gang in the car. This is the kind of
issue that really shows the strengths in family therapy. Good Luck!
Thanks for your questions and answers!
Email us with your Answers and Parenting Questions
Previous questions and answers:
Click Here for "How do you tell when
it's normal kid stuff?"
Click Here for
"What do you do if you have a "personality conflict"
with your child?
Click Here for
"What do you do when you
each have a child from a previous marriage and have conflict about how the
other is handling issues with that child?"
Miki
Hammond discusses issues facing parents and children living with mental illness.
Miki is an expert and accomplished speaker on issues of mental illness. She
is a Certified Peer Specialist and Community Education and Outreach
Coordinator and Advocate. She also is the mother of a child living with a
mental illness.
How mental illness affects
families - Miki Hammond (10:27)
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