This is a printer friendly version of an article from www.goerie.com
To print this article open the file menu and choose Print.
Back to the article
Article published Jun 16, 2007
Juggling act
Working parents cope with stress of child-care crunch
By RACHEL KAUFMAN
rachel.kaufman@timesnews.com
First, Jennifer Reichert lost her cell phone.
Then one day, when she was in class, Reichert's mother-in-law fell and dislocated her hip.
"My husband had the baby (Ryan), and he was supposed to pick Casey (their 10-year-old son) up from school," said Reichert, 30, of Millcreek. But instead, Reichert's husband, Tom, had to take his mother to the hospital, leaving Casey without a ride.
When she got home at 3 p.m., she found her mother waiting to tell her that Casey needed to be picked up in 10 minutes. Reichert rushed to Our Lady of Peace School.
When she arrived, her son wasn't there.
"I was ready to cry," she said. "I was basically freaking out. There are only two people designated to pick the children up, and that's me and my husband."
Fortunately, Tom Reichert had called the principal, told him his brother -- who was visiting from Washington, D.C. -- was on his way, and was allowed to get Casey. Jennifer Reichert found this out when she got home and called her husband at the hospital.
"Turns out my brother-in-law had my son," she said. "He thought it was comical."
Now she laughs, too, when she tells the story. But her situation, and her stress, are not unique.
Erie families -- and indeed, families nationwide -- feel the crunch of more things to do with what seems like fewer hours in the day to do them. One of the things on parents' already crowded plates is the need to find and keep good, reliable child care, and -- just as important -- to create a backup plan for when things go awry.
"We're no longer living in a world where our paycheck subsidizes a nonworking parent at home," said Kathleen Gerson, professor of sociology at New York University and author of "The Time Divide: Work, Family and Gender Inequality." According to a 2004 U.S. Census report, in almost two-thirds of traditional families (where both a mother and father are present), both parents work. This puts a huge strain on parents who need to know their children are well-cared for while the parents are at work.
The options that families have include dropping off the kids at a relative's for the day; hiring a nanny or baby sitter; and taking them to a day-care or early-learning center. Some of these options can be expensive. But parents trust that the choice they make will be reliable and safe.
When a family does find an arrangement that works for them, Murphy's Law can rear its ugly head:
Your child is sick and can't go to day care.
Your caregiver is sick, or otherwise unfit to take care of your kids.
Dani Schmidt, of Cambridge Springs, had a sitter tell her, "I don't really like baby-sitting, I think I'll try to find something else." The sitter didn't mistreat the children, Schmidt said, but caring for them "stressed her out."
Hearing that stressed out Schmidt, too, not least because she had to search for a caregiver all over again.
"You just got everything settled, just got into the routine," and something comes along to topple it, she said.
"We always tell parents there should be a backup," said Michael Cox, resource director at Child Care Information Services of Erie County. This backup can be a friend, relative, or other day-care center, although most centers don't provide drop-in care, Cox said.
"Have five or six names (of reliable people) that can make themselves available to you at the drop of a hat," suggested Jeff Natalie, a licensed social worker and president of ErieKids, a nonprofit that provides education and information to families. "Usually that (list includes) the grandmother that lives next door," but the important thing is to do the legwork ahead of time.
It's still a difficult juggling act. One that only those who have really "been there, done that" can appreciate.
Frank Sulz, 33, works full time at Wegmans while his wife, Jennifer, works at Erie Insurance Group. It's his job to get their children, 11-year-old Lauren and 8-year-old Josh, ready for school in the morning.
He'll wake up at 6 a.m., make lunches for both kids, and make sure they both have their book bags. The kids sleep until 7 a.m.
Then it's off to the bus for them and off to work for Sulz by 8 a.m.
"It's stressful getting everybody going, but it's all worked out pretty well ... once you get a routine," he said.
Of course, when the children are sick during the school year, Jennifer Sulz said, "then we're really stuck." Their summer baby sitter does not provide care during school months, so one of the Sulzes ends up having to use sick days or vacation time to stay at home.
That presents a problem for some parents, Gerson said.
"Workers are very aware that the time they take for their children may be used against them at work," she said. "We still continue to stigmatize working mothers and send out the message that they should feel guilty. There are stories of men who would rather tell their employer that they are going in for an operation than they are taking a day to meet with their child's teacher."
Or to nurse a vomiting toddler back to health.
There are the tough moments, too, as if it's fair to call any moments not tough.
Marie Tavani, a single mother, spends more than two hours in the morning getting Isaiah, 2, and Noah, 8 months, ready for day care at the Saint Vincent Child Care Center. That's on a good day.
Not long ago, all three of them got sick.
"We were getting antibiotics. I had a couple shots," Tavani said. "It's really tough when your kids are sick and you're sick and trying to take care of them."
Noah wasn't able to go to day care, and Tavani had already taken time off for herself and for Isaiah. She couldn't take another sick day. Luckily, Noah's father was able to care for the infant for the day.
Eventually, both kids were well enough to go back to day care, "but I would have much rather been home with them a few (more) days until they felt better," Tavani says. "I'm not able to do that. Where I work, they're flexible, but I have to be held accountable for my position ... so, the last few weeks in May were really tough.
"People will say to me, 'I don't know how you do it.' Some days I don't know how I do it. It's sink or swim, and I'm not gonna sink, so I have to swim really fast."
RACHEL KAUFMAN can be reached at 870-1710 or by e-mail.